The Lord's Prayer - How to forgive biblically (Preach Notes)
Matthew 6:12 Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. This morning is Careful surgery. We are the most forgiven people in the World, we should be the most forgiving too. We are not called to forgive others to earn God’s love, rather His love is the motivation to forgive others. We breathe in being forgiven and breathe out forgiveness.
Often we find it difficult to forgive genuinely and completely because we practice a form of forgiveness that is neither biblical nor healing.
God has given us a very high standard, fortunately, He also gives us the grace, capacity and guidance we need to imitate him. This is a Prayer - “Father your will be done between you and me and between me and others”
To understand what forgiveness is, we first must see what it is not: Forgiveness is a Feeling, Forgetting, or Excusing.
First forgiveness is not a feeling. It is an act of the will. Forgiveness involves a decision not to think, or talk about what someone has done. God calls us to make this decision regardless of our feelings. However, that decision can lead to remarkable changes in our feelings.
Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgetting is a passive process where memory fades with time. Forgiveness is an active process. It involves conscious choice and deliberate action.
When God says He remembers your sins no more, He is NOT saying He cannot remember them, rather He is promising not to remember them (Is 43:25 “I, I alone, am the one who wipes out your wrongdoings for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.) When He forgives He chooses not to mention, recount, or think about our failures ever again, and NEVER use them against us.
Similarly, when we forgive, we consciously decide not to think, or talk about what others have done to hurt us. This may require a lot of effort at first, especially when an offence is still fresh in mind. When we decide to forgive and stop dwelling, painful memories usually begin to fade.
Forgiveness is a decision. We release our right to get even. A decision to keep no record of wrongs. To not get HISTORICAL every time you disagree. (1 Cor 13:5, it keeps no record of being wronged.) To let go, release from liability, punishment, DEBT or penalty. To OVERLOOK (Proverbs 19:11)
Forgiveness is not excusing. Excusing says, “That’s okay,” Implying “What you did really wasn’t wrong,” “You couldn’t help it” Forgiveness is the OPPOSITE of excusing.
It recognises that what someone did was wrong and inexcusable. But since God has forgiven me, I forgive them” Because forgiveness deals HONESTLY with sin, it brings freedom that no amount of excusing could ever provide.
Forgiving others can be costly; the debt doesn’t just disappear. There is loss (TIME, MONEY, REPUTATION, MEMORIES, EMOTIONAL PAIN) and genuine grief. Ultimately, we trust God that God is JUST. No injustice will remain, in the end, all accounts will be settled.
The penalty we release people from when we forgive is the same penalty God releases us from when He forgives. Through forgiveness, God tears down the walls built by our sins. And opens the way for a renewed relationship. Let’s us hear Him and see His face.
The Father never says “I forgive you, I just don’t want to see you or hear anything from you again”
When we forgive we release people from the penalty of being separated from us. We decide not to hold it against them, not to punish them, by holding them at a distance, dwell on it and brood over it, to never use it against them, to not talk to others about it. I will keep my love on.
When we stubbornly refuse to release people of debt, this both destroys the relationship and deprives us of the peace and freedom that only comes through genuine forgiveness.
The stubborn refusal to forgive leads to emotional imprisonment. (Matthew 18:21-35) “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Unforgiveness is like Keeping your hands around someone's throat or drinking poison and expecting it to hurt them. Binds us, takes us captive, torment. You cut yourself off from JOY, PEACE, FREEDOM.
Like the elder brother in Luke 15:28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in… The father invites him to the party (forgiving) but his unforgiveness keeps him outside.
But what about when an offence is too serious to overlook and the person hasn’t yet changed their mind? You may need to approach forgiveness as a two-stage process.
Stage One. This is between you and God. I won’t dwell on it, or seek revenge. I will keep my love on. I’m ready to pursue complete reconciliation as soon as he or she repents. This attitude protects you from bitterness and resentment.
Stage Two. Forgiveness that leads to reconciliation the replacement of separation with peace, connection and friendship sits on a foundation of confession and repentance.
Repentance is a genuine change of mind, and ownership I know the real problem - I acknowledge the concrete actions and behaviour. When I said, when I did, when I didn’t do. When I stole etc.
Boundaries change in the context of genuine repentance. The other person genuinely understanding the pain they caused is a critical.
Forgiveness does not automatically release people from all the consequences of sin Sinning against people causes a mess the restoration of connection and trust may need the other person to say “I’m going to clean up my mess” Repay what I stole.
Without repentance We can still lay down our ill will; we can hand over our anger to God; we can seek to do people good; but we cannot carry through reconciliation or intimacy.
See the two steps in the cross and Pentecost. On the cross Jesus took on the position of forgiving, maintaining an attitude of love and mercy toward those who put him to death. Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”
At Pentecost, the Fathers answers Jesus’ prayer on the Cross. Acts 2:37 Cut to the heart when they realised that they had crucified the Son of God. They repented of their sin. Repentance closes the matter forever, reconciliation, intimacy Repentance is a gift from God. A heart response to His revelation.
When it’s something you can’t just overlook. Don’t just wait in the hope that someone becomes aware - Luke 17:3 “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.
Matthew 5:23-24 “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. Go in humility -without accusation. I feel, I wonder, I think. The Father can use a loving correction to give the gift of a change of mind.